I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I need moral support for this bender
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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