i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you win again, gameday.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
