I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
