After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
