my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
