And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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