HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the day after is always just damage control
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
