Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
