He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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