what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
foreskin is a definite game changer
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
