I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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