it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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