I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
