Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
