I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
