Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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