I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
