The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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