i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
vagina is talking i cant
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
