I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
