She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
