It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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