it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
