my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
