What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
