Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
