I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
