New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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