It's Friday. Sex?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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