either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
