If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize