we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
