It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
