I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
