Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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