worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
