Your mouth is God's brothel.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
