Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
