He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
As shirtless as possible
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
