New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
