Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
