Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm like, not good at living.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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