belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
