I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
