You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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