I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
