so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
