OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What a dumb baby whore.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
