So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
