i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
