I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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