i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
