he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sorry about my life...
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
