You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
