my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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