no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
