you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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