we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
