I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
